Marriage is In deed for Old Age.

Adam, the first man created must have been over 50 years old when God said that it is not good for him to alone? It seems to me that the older men get the more confused and dependent they become. A few years ago a couple visited us for a few days. The man was 75 years while the woman was 64 years. This couples made a remarkable impression on us.The man could not do anything without his wife and everything his wife did revolved around him. She had his kind of coffee, sugar, milk and water temperature, breakfast time done with precision.

For the three days they were in our house I envied the man and the royal treatment he was receiving until I visited them a few months later and realized that it was not a luxury but an accommodation. The man was helpless without his wife. He could not remember dates without his wife's help, make appointments, remember his appointments, find his keys, make phone calls or text message without his wife. At that point instead of envying him I pitied him.

I have also noticed the same subtle change in my lifestyle. Since I crossed the ageing threshold of 50 years, it is becoming more and more challenging to make simple decisions and take certain actions without my wife's input. Decisions that I made in the past without minding my wife's opinion I now wait for her opinion before I make them.  I have gone from looking forward to my peace and quietness in the house to wondering what to do with my peace and quiet in her absence. As she prepares to leave for Africa on a missionary trip ahead of me I am not sure what to do with myself and my time. I just picked a book that I have been yearning to read again hoping that the author will do the magic of taking my mind off the boredom.

I did not quiet put this new phase of life together until yesterday when my wife and I were comparing notes with another couple far away in London and realized that we, the husbands are becoming more and more dependent on our wives for our daily convenience. Now I know why my 93 years father won't allow my mother 80 years old mother out of his sight for more than a few weeks. He can't help himself. 

Marriage is indeed an insurance for, not against old age because marriage can add a few grey hairs on your hair. 

I Almost Broke My Vows

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      They offered me a cigarette, I said, “thanks but I don't smoke” Then they offered me a drink, I said, “thanks but I don't drink” Shortly after that they brought a young woman to keep me company. I did not say, thanks but I don’t need company”. But I wondered what they meant by “company” The young woman did not wait for me to ask questions” She was already smiling and talking to me. She asked how my visit to the country was going? I shared my frustrations with her. We talked about the weather, my security concerns, the chaos, world affairs, and every other thing but my wife and children. Perhaps deep inside my mind I thought that marriage and family did not go with cigarettes, drinks and women. In any case, the young lady did not ask about my wife and children and I did not tell.

I looked across the table and saw my friends sipping their drinks, exhaling their smoke, and slowly drifting away from reality. They were in their own world and I was in my own world with the young lady.  So I thought until I realized that we were actually in her world; a world she had mastered.

It became obvious when she said, How about the Rockets? It was the days of Akeem Olajuwon and Clyde Drexler and the Houston Rockets so I got excited.  Either she did her homework or the devil was working overtime. That devilish duo was trying to break me down!  Before I could say a word the young woman looked into my eyes and muted, “quiet place”, all the while waving her manicured fingers toward the stairs leading to the second floor.  I hesitated for a second, thinking about how to say no without losing face. By that time I’d realized that the corner of the room where we both sat was her domain and she taking charge.

 

 I am just fine here” I said in my cracked voice. “Sir, it’s getting loud her and second hand smoke is not good for us.  I promise it will be worth your while” she said, running her fingers through her long hair with grace.  By this time my spirit was fighting back. I mustered enough courage to say, “I don't go to a quiet place with women”. (I lied) “Oh, am sorry sir, would you prefer to go with a gentleman? We can arrange for that” That was the final nail on the coffin of my foray into politics and the last time I went out with the big boys.

I opened my mouth but the words choked in my throat. Suddenly, I had a surge of resentment. There was silence as if the young lady and I agreed to a truce.  

 After a few minutes, she said, “Sir you don't drink, you don't smoke, you don't have fun, why are you here sir?

My head dropped in shame. Her words were like daggers stuck into my rib cage. The demons had won round one and now they were taunting me. What is a married man doing in the drinking’s lounge with another woman?  Then I remembered Psalm 137 word by word, line by line.

By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept

when we remembered Zion.

There on the poplars we hung our harps, 

for there our captors asked us for songs,

our tormentors demanded songs of joy; 

they said, “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!”

How can we sing the songs of the Lord in a strange land?

How can I break my vows in a strange place with a strange woman?

 That was many years ago but I still remember it as if it happened yesterday. The night I wandered into Babylon and almost broke my vows.  

Establishing A Heaven On Earth Home

The first thing you need when building a heaven on earth home is an indisputable building plan that is time-tested and practical. Your home is about your family and your family is really about your marriage. In that sense your home is your most valuable asset so you cannot afford to experiment with uncertainties. You've got to know what you are doing. For more discussion on the right plan http://www.twogetherforever.org/miw-online

On August 24, 1992, a category 5 hurricane made landfall in the Florida key. At first the experts had predicted that the storm would be a category 4 hurricane with a maximum sustained wind of 145 miles per hour, a dangerous storm none the less but Andrew turned out to be far more powerful than that. Hurricane Andrew packed a wind speed of 165  miles per hour earning Andrew the unenviable record of one the most destructive natural disasters in US history.  Nearly 26,000 residential homes damaged and billions of dollars in insurance claim.

After the storm was over, one particular neighborhood was hit harder than the others as everything was destroyed. Surprisingly one home survived the storm, standing in the middle of the mayhem like a colossus, defying the wind, the rain, the flood and the looting. 

A few days later a curious reporter tracked down the homeowner to find out why his house was the only house in his neighborhood to survive the 165 miles per hour storm. ” What the homeowner said baffled everybody.  He said, I built the house myself, they told me that if I build it according to the building code, it will survive any hurricane and it did.

The Second Key to building a heaven on earth home is to meticulously follow the plan. This is where a lot of couples miss it. They start so well but later allow themselves to be separated from the plan.There will be temptations to cut corners and ignore some instructions. All I can say is "don't fall for it" Find what makes you happy and incorporate it into your home. Find out what scares you (Higher Power) and make an altar for it in your home. You need some fear to deal with the boring lull moments and for encouragement. 

For more information on how to build a heaven on earth home, join us on August 29 & 30, for the Marriage Intensive Webinar. http://www.twogetherforever.org/miw-online